One of those days...

I feel a little lost today, not sure why. Even though I have plans in place and am working towards something and all is kinda great at the moment, y'know floating along nicely, but today is just a "Blah, what am I even doing??!" day if you get me! I'm most definitely not in the mood for work, mainly due to the banger of a headache I have at the moment and of course no Paracetamol anywhere in the office :( 
When it comes to change I tend not to take to it as quickly as most people, I like things the way they are in the present, when something comes along and upsets my routine or plans or certain ways, it makes me uneasy..the adjustment process is quite a long one! But then sometimes I freak out inside a little bit that things will never change and they will stay the same way forever and I wont have got a chance to do all the things I want to do...anyone else ever feel like this?! Even when changes that I've made myself happen, I take a while to get my head around them while they are actually happening! Like I'm planning to take off to Australia again next year, June hopefully but already I'm freaking out a little bit about the huge change its going to be. Mainly because last time I went I was so super homesick and sad that I vowed never to leave home again!! But I know this time is different, it will most definitely be a positive experience, I'll be going with someone different and well y'know, I'm older I should be well able to take on the world and all it has to offer me!! 
While I'm one of the lucky ones who has found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, (took me 10 years to realise it but hey I got there in the end!) sometimes that panics me even though I wouldn't change my mister for the world and he feels the same and when that feeling is reciprocated as much as you feel it, there's a certain amount of pressure from no one but myself not to let that person down. Someone (not so wise but happened to be bit wise on this occasion) once told me I was my own worst enemy because I thought too much...about everything!! So in recent times, the last year especially I have learnt to relax a bit more and go with the flow as some would say and learn to appreciate any surprises that life may throw my way. But still I have a few crazy days!! :S 
I think I need to go home, get under my duvet in my cosy pj's and watch The Crow because its my favorite film ever and then watch Dirty Dancing because its my second favorite film ever!! Oh and drink lots of tea :)


"A building gets torched, all that is left is ashes. I used to think that was true about everything, families, friends, feelings. But now I know that sometimes if love proves real, two people who are meant to be together, nothing can keep them apart."


"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever."


"Me? I'm scared of everything. I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you."